What’s a pear to do when it’s not an apple?

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In the Summer of  2011 the IAF (International Assembly of  Fruits) conducted a survey which revealed a shocking result: 97% of all fruits wished they were apples. The rest of 3% split as follows: 1.5% wanted to become blackberries, 1% wished they were oranges and 0.5% went bananas because they couldn’t decide whether they were fruits or vegetables.

The question is: What can a fruit do to become an apple?

Let’s take for example pears. The reason for choosing pears is because they are almost similar to apples, biologically speaking (see picture below)

See? Twins. A recent picture of Pear (left) twitting about Apple (right).

However, over the years apples evolved differently and became part of the upper class, hence adopting a more posh lifestyle. While pears fell into anonymity. The differences between the two became more and more obvious.

Apple is crispy. Apple is fresh. Apple is healthy. Apple is spheric. Apple is smart. Apple is notorious.

Pear is different. Not good different, but different different. Pear is mellow. Pear is musty. Pear is round-ISH. Pear is dull.

In an attempt to understand what can a pear do to become as an apple, I observed the evolution of 2 pears over the 3 main life stages: childhood, adolescence and maturity. The subjects, Dennis and Jeremiah, claimed their dreams were to be as famous as apple. They are two best friends, they were born on the same branch, went to the same schools, but have opposite personalities and brains – Jeremiah’s IQ is 132, Dennis’s…

A normal day at school. Dennis (left) trying to figure out what IQ stands for and Jeremiah (right) always active in computer science classes

After they finished school, the two boys remained friends. Jeremiah was headhunted by a big IT firm on the grounds that he was as smart as an apple (rumours say it’s his almost spheric shape that got him the job). Dennis became Denise and married Jeremiah.

The couple was first time seen together as husband and wife at a very famous apple party.

Soon after they got married, a tragic accident happened and Denise lost Jeremiah. The brainy pear was mistakenly chopped, ending up in an apple pie. “I never thought Jerry’s dream of becoming an apple will come true this way”, Denise confessed. The widow was the only inheritor of Jeremiah.

Later this month, Denise uploaded a picture on her Facebook profile showing her enjoying an exotic holiday.

She updated her status: "I was born pear, married a short and fat pear and will die rich"

In conclusion, if you were born an ordinary fruit, unless you are a very smart apple-like fruit or you marry one, you can’t be as famous as an apple.

Courtesy to my very good friend, Adina, who gave me the chance to transform her healthy snack into lively characters.

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